Introduction

Because we love our dogs, there is a natural tendency to pamper them. We think it's cute when they show us what they want and so we respond by giving it to them. Many dogs misinterpret this loving generosity as subordination and get the wrong message that they are leaders in the relationship. This leads to trouble.

Following the leader

Since dogs are genetically evolved from wolves, their instinct is to participate in a pack hierarchy. Most dogs will actively try to discover the leader of his or her group, and then follow that leader's wishes. A subordinate pack member attempts to please and generally defers to the leader of the group. Much has been written about dogs viewing their human families as their packs. Although the pack comparison is not exact, dogs are social and generally look to their people for guidance. The optimal relationship for an ideal dog is one that recognizes all people who have been introduced to him or her as friendly, above the dog in status, and with privileges of rank. These privileges include the right to ask the dog to respond to words the dog knows such as, "Off," "Come," "Sit," "Down," or "Stay." 
 

The goal is for the dog to accept all people, who have been introduced to him or her as friendly, and higher in rank.

Finding the leader

The best definition of "leader" in the canine mind is the one who controls the resources. Resources are anything the dog values such as food, toys, treats, access to the yard, walks, the best resting areas, praise, petting, and play. The true human leader controls these resources and expects the dog to earn the goods by doing the work. For a dog, the work is responding to words the dog know with actions such as coming when called, sitting or staying when asked. (i.e., deferring to people). The dog must "learn to earn" all the valued resources. This establishes the person as the controller of those resources, and therefore, the leader of the pack. Separation Anxiety is one of the most challenging behaviors to correct. Prevention is the key!

This "learn to earn" approach to leadership replaces any reason to hit, spank, or physically punish the dog. Instead, leadership is established by withholding all valued resources, and only delivering them when the dog complies with a request or command. This approach reinforces the innate social structure of the dog, helps the dog to trust people, and look for cues on what to do and how to behave. In addition, the dog sees family members as the providers of all things good that are earned rather than seeing the family as the servants.

A life long process...

Once leadership is established, and the dog is happily complying, you can give some pampering for free, keeping in mind that "learn to earn" is a life long process. Make sure you test the relationship weekly by giving a command with no obvious reward in sight. If the dog complies, the dog still recognizes you as leader and life can go on as is. If the dog does not comply, then back to "doggie boot camp" where the dog gets nothing he or she wants, unless it is earned first. It is a good idea to ask the dog to defer to you on a daily basis. For example, always ask the dog to do something, prior to giving the dog his or her meals. This is a simple way to remind the dog who controls the resources!
 

The dog must "learn to earn" all the valued resources. This establishes the person as the controller of those resources, and therefore, the leader of the pack.

Catch your dog in the act of doing something right!

If your dog is lying quietly indoors while there is a lot of activity in the household (or any other time), verbally praise the dog for doing what you want. In this situation, the dog has already earned the praise. Look for as many opportunities as possible to praise your dog for being well-behaved. As these opportunities become more frequent, you will soon come to the realization that you really do have an IdealDog™!